This post is going to be quite "wordy", forgive me, but I think that you may be able to relate and learn quite a bit from some my mistakes, so that maybe you will not make them too...
I used to be one of those girls who never said no. And sadly, even when I said "no", it would not remain so for long. This filtered into my relationships too, making it more difficult to realise the fault.
It did not make me happy, nor did I succeed at my quest to bring joy to those around me. I would spend many days feeling depleted and robbed of energy, my complaints were endless and I wondered why I never quite managed to be...happy. My need, sadly, was coupled with an inability to set inadequate boundaries. A few bad decisions culminated in three years of my valuable life in an emotional war-zone. I realise now that in truth I had given away so much power to those around me, that I lost sight of my own strength. I now know that this strength, once lost, is hard to gain back, because the worst form of dis-empowerment, is that which we inflict on ourselves, because it is then that we become truly vulnerable to negativity and influence.
Boundaries, depending on the household in which you were reared, are either natural or learnt. I had to learn the hard way, as many of us do. A few months ago, as my life seemed to tumble around me, I re-evaluated my idea of boundaries. Though this is not always met with praise, I have come to respect myself enough to give power to my choices.
So start small, ask yourself what you accept and what is non-negotiable. Remember that your time, whether spent well or poorly; will impact your life and either make you happy or deplete you. Protect your emotional house, friends, and make the kind of choices that will help you move forward positively and happily.
Just Janel
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